time to cut it off
**All my blogs can be found at my multiply site: www.lengskidoodles.multiply.com**
If you really want to change, you have to break from your routine and start from scratch. Let go of everything and make everything fresh again.
I’ve been wearing my anklets for almost 2 years now. They have never been taken off. Reggie hardly notices it, so he was aghast when he realized how long it stayed on me. It doesn’t suit me he said, with my personality and with the way I dress, so he asked me to take it off. Besides, it’s quite unhygienic and I’m no longer a rebellious teenager—I deserve better accessories.
Like my anklet, there are things in my life I have to cut myself from. If I want to change I need to break from the habit.
I’ve been hitting the gym for over a year now and I canceled my services effective October. I’ve also been with Citi for over a year now and I’m entering my last week of work within my 30-day notice of resignation. I’m going back to the corporate world and completely retiring from the call center industry.
I had a very hard time “changing” me. I was too reckless. If former President Cory Aquino were my mom, she would have also told me what she told Kris, “Kung gaano ka katalino sa school, ganun ka ka-bobo sa pag-ibig”. Someone came in my life and told me, ”Babaguhin kita ha. Papayag ka ba?”. I agreed because I want to straighten my life. I didn’t think it would be that hard. Now, all that’s left with me are scars of the past but I have more than enough zest to move forward.
The most important thing I learned is that no matter how many people come and go in your life, your family will always be a part of you. I’m renewing myself for them—and for my future family.
It’s a huge gamble. Before, I was too focused on proving everyone wrong about me but in reality you have to listen and be shaped by the people around you. I loved gimmicks, vices and living the good life. I was earning a lot and I am risking earning half of it. But I’ve gambled a lot more when I rebelled before.
I lost the magis, the Ateneo culture. I wrestled into the real world and as much as I lost the elitist that I am, I gained a bad sense of surviving the world. Come to think of it, I lost myself already. I’m just going back on track.
So what if I earn less? I don’t even get to enjoy my fat salary because the stress and pressure of work prevents me from enjoying my life. When I was in Ward Howell, I was earning minimum wage but I get to have Starbucks drinks almost everyday and I enjoyed shopping and taking bi-weekly facials.
So what if I don’t party anymore? My only companions are the ones I work with; I hardly spend time with the people I have genuine friendship with. I don’t get to spend time with my family and loved ones on weekends, most especially on holidays.
Like my anklet that needs to be taken off, I’m releasing myself from the ties that bind me and prevent me from growing.
